Recovering addicts share their stories

Fort Frances Times Ltd
By Heather Ogilvie

Three recovering drug addicts from Winnipeg spent two days in the district last week speaking to teenagers, parents, and community members about drug addictions and the path to sobriety.
Sponsored by the Rainy River District Substance Abuse Prevention Team, the trio told their personal stories in Emo, Fort Frances, Couchiching, and Atikokan.
“They touched 1,500-1,600 people,” noted SAPT co-ordinator Hugh Dennis. “They related so well to both the parents and young people.
“And it’s great to get the message from people in recovery because the message is so strong.”
Roland Vandal, 35, who has been sober for five years, was first to share his experiences, noting he got into drugs because he was looking for attention.
“I was constantly in trouble,” he remarked. “I never had much direction from my parents.”
He recalled hanging out with the “cool crowd” drinking and partying. They’d spray Pam in a bag and get high from it. He was homeless for a time and even tried to commit suicide.
He felt he didn’t fit in—he was too short or his hair wasn’t right. “I wanted to keep using and drinking because it filled the void,” he noted.
Vandal explained there was a chain of alcoholism in his family and he vowed to break that succession with his now 14-year-old son.
“I’m not going to teach my son those things,” he vowed. “I communicate with him and tell him that I love him.
“Something got lost in our family—values and morals—and I believe drugs and alcohol got in the way.”
Vandal recalled his life of using and drinking as “the most pathetic place [he’s] ever been.”
But then got involved in boxing and now he feels he has respect, confidence, and acceptance.
“It’s difficult to do the right thing, but the rewards are greater,” he stressed, urging those gathered to get involved in their communities and culture.
Brenden O’Rourke, 24, also turned to using drugs after feeling he didn’t fit in.
“Only now that I’m sober, in hindsight I realize I was uncomfortable in my own skin and that’s why I drank and did drugs,” he explained, noting he began using crystal meth, which took a toll on his mentality.
But then he started hanging around with people who were good influences and the struggle to become sober began.
He had periods of sobriety, but several relapses. Currently, he’s been sober for 14 months.
“It wasn’t instant,” he recalled. “Even when I was sober, I still had to learn to go to work on time, how to pay my bills, be a good member of society, a good brother, and a boyfriend.”
O’Rourke noted his mother has been as supportive as she can, especially now that she’s celebrating life with him rather than burying a son.
“My advice is to stick with [the positive things] you’re doing,” he stressed to the teenagers in the audience. “It may seem like you are going against the grain, but if you look out the window, you’re going with the rest of the world.
“Today I choose to participate in life and now I’m living.”
Like the other two speakers, Dave Harms, 21, recalled using drugs as a way to escape his feelings of not being accepted.
“I was ashamed of who I was, and smoking and drinking was the only way I knew how to cope,” he noted, saying this way of life led him into several bad situations.
He explained it all started with weekend drinking and it snowballed from there.
“It doesn’t matter if you just do it on the weekends—it will happen to you and it will happen fast,” he warned.
Harms got a wake-up call when police told him to go get treatment for his problem.
“I had to swallow my pride, bite the bullet, and ask for help,” he related. “I had to say that I didn’t know what was happening inside of me—that life was too overwhelming for me to handle.”
He learned he wasn’t alone and that there were other people feeling the same way as him.
“I needed to feel loved and accepted,” he admitted. “And that was the best high I’ve ever felt. I like myself and I don’t want to die.”
He added he feels disgusted at the thought of what he put his mother through. She learned about what was going on and didn’t let her son take control of the situation.
“I pushed my boundaries and the day after my graduation, I was told to leave home,” he remarked, adding he’d only be allowed back once he got his life in order.
Harms’ advice to parents is not to judge their children if they find they are using drugs.
“Give them a fair chance to explain what is going on without punishment or judgment,” he advised. “Then encourage treatment. There was nothing my mom could do for me. I needed outside help.”
But he added the important thing is the help is there if you need it.
All three men regularly attend “12 Step” meetings to maintain their sobriety and share their stories to bring awareness to a growing problem.